Twenty Great Ways to Avoid Writing

by Kelley Lindberg

Looking for reasons to avoid writing right now? These are some of the ones that have worked for me just this week. You’re welcome. Happy to help.

1. Household chores. That laundry isn’t going to do itself.
2. Balance (or at least try to balance) your checking account and credit card bills.
3. Read a good book, then beat yourself up because you’ll never write anything that good.
4. Read a bad book, then open a <insert one: bottle of wine, bag of chips, box of chocolates> to celebrate because you’ll never write anything that bad.
5. Drive your son/daughter to their game/recital/party/playdate, then back again, and swing by the grocery store and the gas station while you’re out.
6. Clean off your desk.
7. Call someone to commiserate with about not having time to get any writing done.
8. Read some blogs about writing.
9. Catch up on Facebook, and call it “gathering material for my characters.”
10. Research something. Anything. Like, say, the life cycle of a vanilla bean. It’s actually kind of fascinating.
11. Update some software, then spend several hours of quality time with your favorite tech support dudes in India to try to fix the “update.” (You get bonus points if your computer is in worse shape when you finish than when you began the update.)
12. Volunteer for something.
13. Re-read what you’ve already written, change a word or two, and call it a day.
14. Go through last week’s email, and answer the ones you put off answering but now feel guilty about.
15. Watch the latest episode of your favorite show that you recorded last night.
16. Update your playlist. You know, for inspiration.
17. Blog, podcast, tweet, pin, or otherwise post something funny, angry, inspirational, or even writing-related.
18. Blame your muse for skipping town.
19. Do your real job (the one someone pays you for). Okay, this one’s legit.
20. Brainstorm your top twenty ways to avoid writing.

So… what are YOUR favorite ways to avoid writing?