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Ten Things Writers Never Want to Hear

February 24, 2023 by Kelley Lindberg Leave a Comment

  1. My admin can type really fast, so we don’t need to hire a writer.
  2. I have a great idea for a book based on my life growing up as a middle child in an average family. Will you write it for me?
  3. I just got fired, so instead of looking for a new job, I’m going to write a novel to make a lot of money. Who should I send it to when I’m ready to get it published?
  4. I just read a book that sounds exactly like what you’re writing.
  5. I’m 14, and my agent just sold my first novel to Random House for seven figures.
  6. I hate reading and I haven’t read a book since high school. But I just wrote a 200,000-word novel. Want to read it?
  7. One hundred thousand books are published every month now. Seriously.
  8. Studies show that having huge numbers of social media followers doesn’t actually translate into book sales. But since we eliminated most of our marketing budget for mid-list authors like you and we don’t know any better ways to market books anymore, we’re still going to pass on your novel unless you have at least 500,000 followers.
  9. I love, love, love everything about your manuscript, but I don’t love it enough to commit to it as your agent/publisher.
  10. I’m sorry, but your hard drive is unrecoverable and your online backup system failed three months ago.
[photo by Andre Hunter on Unsplash]

Filed Under: writer's life Tagged With: encouragement, humor, inspiration

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